Mom's Blog, Fall and Winter 2007 · October 07, 2007
Mr. Attitude October 01, 2007

I've started worrying again lately about the whole attachment issue. For the past few months it felt like Evan was making some progress towards being more physical and giving/receiving affection. I loved when he gave me my first kissy back in July and the seperation anxiety showed at daycare this fall made my heart melt. I really was happy to see it mattered so much to him if I stayed or went.

Then all of a sudden the last few weeks things felt like they subtly changed or at the least had not moved forward any.

Perhaps it is being a very active little boy, being close to the terrible twos or just personality. How does a parent tell?

Of course those with biological kids just say "Oh, so and so was like that - never a snugger" but it is different when the child had such a damaging first year start. So, all the chat room on FRUA.org (Friends of Russian and Ukrainain Adoption) say I should address this.

Scott thought I was just worrying about nothing but lately he has agreed that Evan does seem to have issues with me.

I am not totally being rejected, but Evan runs away from me when called. If I am trying to feed him, he will turn his head away and grunt at me. And this is with any food, stuff he really likes. Yet, he will let Scott feed him. It is very hurtful to me as I want to give him all the loving he desearves.

After seeing this, Scott is okay with my wanting to have Evan evaluated by some professional that deals in attachment issues with adoptees. I say better to get him turned around at this age rather than later. Now I will have to see who I can contact about this. I would be extremely happy to have him evaluated and find out that he is just a normal active independent little boy!

Here is a photo of Evan when he decided he did not want Mommy feeding him, right before he got to sit in his highchair and feed himself. Obviously he was distraught and upset with being held and offered food.

Should I Stay or Should I go Now ??? October 08, 2007

Scott and I had planned a nice weekend this past weekend in Oshkosh. We were to go up on Friday and spend the weekend while my parents came to take care of the kids. This is really Scotts' thing. He is the Alumni President for his Fraternity and of course has a hand in the homecoming celebration they put on to welcome back the alumni. I already was having some serious reservations about leaving Evan for the weekend. We have not done that yet and given the fact that I think we are having some attachment issues, I am torn. Not to mention that next weekend I am taking a Mommy only trip to Chicago.

Well, wouldn't you know it. Evan got up from his nap and all of a sudden he has a fever and is just inconsolable. He even let me carry him around in the baby sling, which he usually hates. He fell asleep in it laying his head on me as we sat on the couch. That felt really nice, having him snuggle into me. So, now I don't know what to do. He has a fever of over 102. I gave him some Motrin. Scott says to just leave him with my Mom. She can cuddle him and give him Motrin just as well as I could.

Maybe it was the MOtrin kicking in or the excitement of having the grandparents there but in a couple of hours he was up and tearing around like nothing was wrong. So, I decided to go ahead and go to Oshkosh with Scott. I know Scott was really looking forward to a weekend with me. Still I feel bad. I did call home a few times and my Mom said he was fine. All the kids were happy to see up when we got back and boy were my parents ready to get out of this zoo!

Warming him back up October 16, 2007

I went to Chicago this weekend with a couple of girlfriends for my first get away from the kids since Oct. 2006. I can't describe how nice it was to get a full nights sleep and be able to take my time looking in things in the stores. I got to eat my whole meal without anyone wanting it too in nice restaurants without high chairs. Aah, but then it was back to reality......

And Evan woke up Monday morning and proceeded to ignore me for most of the day. I think he was a little cold to me since I left him. By mid day he had finally come around and decided it was again okay to let me be around him. Kate was super clingy so I sort of paid for my days of freedom after I got home.

Having Mommy and Daddy all to himself October 29, 2007

My Mom offered to take all the kids when they had off from school but I didn't think that she could handle having all 4 of them and I didn't think that it was a good idea to send Evan for that many days away. So, I kept Evan home and sent the girls. Scott thought for sure that Evan would miss them and be a cry baby all weekend. Actually, he loved it! He clearly sucked up all the attention and was happy as could be to have Mommy and Daddy at his beck and call. Since I didn't have to attend to KAte, I made sure to carry Evan around a lot and sat on the couch with him. I even slept with him one night. I can't say I got a great night's sleep but I think Evan rather enjoyed it, which was surprising to me. Normally he has not wanted to sleep with me.

It was so nice to have him snuggled into the crook of my arm. At one point, I rolled over and had my back to him. He actually got upset and used his hands to try and roll my body back to face him. Maybe he likes the warm body.

Evan is doing the craziest thing. When he get upset or hurt, he instantly drops to his knees and CRAWLS to us. He then sits up on his knees and begs to be picked up by upstretching his little arms. What is this all about???? It is like he has to regress to some prior baby stage. Oh well, I just make sure to pick him up and give some lovin. I am also continuing to rock him and sing a bit before bed. He never falls asleep and I put him down awake but he seems content most of the time. I can't wait until he can talk and tell me what is going on in that little mind.

Evan wants to go to Preschool too! November 02, 2007

Katherine started school yesterday at Rock Prairie Montessori school. Our older girls both started there at age 2 but we didn't think we were going to send Kate because she could stay home and be with Evan. Well, our thinking on that has changed. It really seemed like Evan thrived on those days when the girls were gone to my Mom and Dad's. So, having some money to burn for our Flex Spending account we called RPM. We were only able to get Kate into the THur-Friday morning program. So, on those days from 8:30 - 11:30am it will be just Evan and I. Except that Scott doesn't work on most Fridays so he gets both parents to entertain him.

Kate was so excited to go to school. It was so cute. She was ready to go and was yelling bus, bus and thought she was going with Susanna and Laine. She got so upset when they left. She got to go to school in the "Mommy bus". Evan cried a bit when I got Kate out of the car. She just looked at him, waved and said "bye Evan".

The best, most touching part of this whole experience this week though was today. I was getting ready to take Kate and I said "Evan, Let's go bye-bye and take Kate to school" and he leans over and puts his arms around Kate and just layed his head on her shoulder.!! It was so touching. I wish I had had a camera at the ready but you never know when these moments are going to happen. These two really are best buddies despite the everyday cat and dog fighting. I think it is a win-win situation for Kate and Evan. She is so ready for preschool and he gets some one on one with us.